relationships

bigstockphoto_couple_arguing_at_breakfast_3916186_1zzk

Keep It Simple, Stupid.

When it comes to relationships, we tell ourselves all sort of lies to keep us happy and in love. Sometimes, we even have ourselves convinced that we put up with the relationship because there isn’t anything better out there. Sometimes, it’s just plain being afraid of being alone. We tell ourselves that “all couples fight”, “I don’t deserve him”, and my personal favourite, “he can change”. What we need to realize is the underlying truth to all three statements.

1. All couples fight.
They do. Actually, some really don’t, but 99.9% do. The trick is how the two of you overcome those obstacles and how well you can communicate. And even then, if you find yourselves fighting more than you’re enjoying the time together, then perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate. Don’t get me wrong, some people like the challenge of spending their life with someone that has opposing beliefs and as a result, helps them grow mentally, spiritually, and physically. But for the other 98% of the dating population… perhaps it’s better to be with someone that makes you happy instead of challenge every value, opinion, and nerve in your body.

2. I don’t deserve him.
Um… yes you do. In fact, if he hasn’t convinced you otherwise, then he’s probably not doing his job right. As women, we’re naturally critical of ourselves and born with a lower self-esteem. It takes years and years to develop the confidence to face this world, let alone believe that we deserve happiness and love. Snap out of it because you do deserve the best – and if he’s lucky, he might deserve you.

3. He can change.
We’ve all been guilty of telling ourselves this. Sometimes, him changing might mean he’s finally able to acknowledge that camouflage is only acceptable to be worn on halloween. But most other times, it just means that he’s temporarily doing what you want him to so that you’ll be happy. The reality is, most people don’t change. They just become more of who they really are. You need to decide if that’s something you can live with – if not, don’t hold your breath. No pun intended.

My point to this article isn’t that those mentioned above are the only 3 issues we face in relationships but that we commonly give ourselves reasons to stay when we’ve been running on empty for a while now. Don’t tell yourself that you’re the exception and that it’s complicated. It’s actually pretty simple – either you’re happy or you’re not. If you can’t tell, then you’re probably not as happy as you should be. Keep it simple.


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